- I broke the rules and got myself in trouble . . . Part of the journey.
- I defied him and we had to recover from it . . . Progress.
- We argued and he disappointed or upset me and we worked through it . . . Part of the work of relationships.
- Whining or ranting posts about wanting more and needing him . . . Part of learning to live in this dynamic and a natural consequence of long distance.
I ended things with B this weekend . . . Yeah . . . I didn't want to have to post that.
But I did, and it's been kind of awful. I'm really sad and my heart is hurting and I miss him terribly. I believe that it was the right thing to do but that doesn't change that I feel pretty miserable right now.
I'm not going to go into assigning blame or explaining the in's and out's of it here because I think a blog is an inappropriate place to do that and because I have no idea if he'll keep reading and I do care about not being hurtful.
I'm feeling pretty adrift right now, maybe I'm being egocentric but I think that break-ups might be harder on a submissive woman than on other women. I just feel . . . I don't know, a little lost I guess, maybe.
I'll figure it out, and the overwhelming feelings will pass, I suppose.
I don't want to depress everyone, but I felt like I needed to post something about it.
I like blogging and I don't think I'll stop, although I'm not sure exactly what I'll blog about now. I also really love the little community I'm beginning to feel a part of and so I'll be reading your blogs . . . although to be honest, I may not read for few more days because reading about people in relationships that are working makes me kinda emotional right now.
Anyway, I think that's all the moping I'll do here for now.
Until next time,