Friday, September 6, 2013

Baby Steps . . . A Beginning

Well. . . B and I are trying again.  If I'm honest, I have to admit that I'm harboring some doubts, but I want it to work and so I'm giving it an honest try . . . Time will tell.

The week we didn't talk was hard, and I missed him terribly; but it was also just enough time for me to remember that there are needs and there are wants.  I want for B and I to work out, but it's not a "need."

Talking to him again has filled a void in me, he's good for me . . . I do know that.  Long distance is complicated and I think we will still have some serious hurdles, but I want to try again and see if we can pull this off.  He is eager to try again, and to change the things that need to be changed to make us better . . . to move us forward.




I told him that I don't know that I will be able to trust him, really trust him, until he makes it up here and we meet in person. He said he understands that.  I don't know if he really understands how high the walls are around my heart right now, how much I'm self protecting. I think, in some ways, I have to do that right now, until I see for myself that he is committed to moving us forward, until I see it with his actions and not just his words.

I feel like I'm not sure what all to say about it, I have lots of feelings all criss-crossed inside of me and I'm still sorting them.





On paper we're unbelievably good for each other. We share the same faith, the same basic political views. We have varied interests, but we're genuinely interested in learning about what the other is passionate about. We have the same ideas about family and about what sort of place we would like to live (neither one of us are big city sort of people).





I find myself wishing that we just lived in the same place, but alas, that is not to be right now. So we'll keep working our way through this long distance thing.




Right now, we're moving in baby steps.












Until next time,
His devoted one

P.S. If anyone has any specific advice on weathering long distance relationships, particularly D/s relationships or if you know of any good websites where we could look for advice that would be awesome. feel free to email it to either of us, or just put in in comments on either of our blogs.

8 comments:

  1. Hi Bekah,
    Baby steps is the best way forward. I'm sending an email with a link, hope it helps.
    hugs
    DF

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    Replies
    1. Thanks DF,

      I got your email and I'm gonna poke around and see what I can find. Yes, I agree that baby steps are wise for now.

      Bekah

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  2. How far apart are you and why can't you meet up now and then? Oh this is sad! I'm sorry you're not able to connect physically. Hoping you can soon!

    Hugs
    M.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. We're about ten and a half hours apart and we can and will meet up now and then, but we've had a hard time making it happen. Some because of work stuff, some because of family crisis, and once because B was having some doubts. He's going to come up here soon, having a firm plan for that was the biggest condition to us trying again.

      I'm hoping beyond hope that things will work out and I'll get to share all about it.

      hugs
      Bekah

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  3. I hope it's okay to post links here:

    http://domwithpen.tumblr.com/post/39312648476/the-long-distance-d-s-relationship

    http://www.asubmissivesjourney.com/community/index.php/2012-02-07-19-21-15/dominant-submissive-lifestyle-pages/1141-long-distance-d-s-relationships

    http://www.arcaneadvice.com/long-distance-ds-how-deep/

    http://ask.metafilter.com/114103/A-question-about-ds-in-a-long-distance-relationship

    http://leatherfeathers.blogspot.co.uk/2009/12/i-found-my-way-to-your-blog-and-noticed.html?zx=cb4d102b7fe8a322

    Rosalind

    ReplyDelete
  4. Yes links here are definitely okay. Thank you sooooo much Rosalind!!! I'll look over them and see if I can't get B too as well.

    Bekah

    ReplyDelete
  5. Soumise ClandestineSeptember 8, 2013 at 4:01 AM

    Oh I'm so happy! I was hoping you both would give it a new try!
    I wish you good luck!
    Take your time, baby steps are better than no steps at all and communicate a lot.
    I wish you all the luck possible (I hope that means something in English, Hum... To write in a foreign language can sometimes be very frustrating!!! LOL !)
    Take care, both of you!
    big hugs from across the ocean
    SC

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    Replies
    1. Thanks SC... I'm sorry I didn't respond sooner.. I meant to but I forgot!!!

      All the luck possible works in English too and I think you do just fine with the language barrier.

      Thanks from both of us for the encouragement!!

      Bekah

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