First of all . . .
Happy 4th of July!!!!
Or perhaps this one would be
more appropriate to the blog . . .
Regardless, I hope you all have a wonderful holiday . . . with time spent with family and friends and I hope you get to see awesome fireworks!!!
But want I really want to talk about . . . are those two little words in the title.
How can two little words . . . just seven letter total have sooooo much power???? Let me explain by way of examples . . .
B's teasing me about something . . . I tell him to quit . . . he keeps on . . . "hmpphh, you're a punk" . . . "Watch it."
I come back to the phone after going to the bathroom . . . he says, "That was fast." . . . "Yup." . . . "Go back and wash your hands." . . . "I DID wash my hands." . . . "Hhmmmm..." . . . a little petulant, under my breath, "shut up" . . . "Watch it."
Mid-conversation I get a little sassy . . . "I could always just send you to the corner." . . . "I'm not going to the corner tonight, I already decided." (okay maybe a lot sassy) . . . "Watch it."
We're talking about something and I make a demand, followed playfully by, "Because I'm in charge around here you know." . . . "Watch it."
You get the idea.
There are other little two word combinations that would have this same effect on me I'm sure. ( "Yes what?", "Bend over", "Come here", "Excuse me?") But "Watch it" is by far the one that B uses the most.
Every time he says it, my stomach drops and I bite my lip. Every time. It's 100% clear that I'm at the line and then I have a choice to make . . .
If I got too close to the line by accident then I'll quickly say either, "Yes Sir" or "Sorry Sir" . . . and then usually that's the end of it. I've stepped back and he can unruffle his feathers and we keep talking. I think if we were actually together, "Watch it" would probably often be accompanied by (or maybe even replaced by) him popping my ass one good time. But my guess would still be that if I conceded quickly, that would end the momentary role re-alignment.
But the thing is that often, I get real close to that "line" and stick a toe (or sometimes even just step one foot over completely) on purpose. I like the way it feels when he reins me in. It makes me feel secure and I know he's paying attention and if I'm honest (blushing) it turns me on. All the physical stuff is great, like "Oh My GOSH . . . I can't wait!!!!!" sort of great. But I really think my primary desire is just to *be* dominated.
Which is why, while my kink started with spanking, and most of my fantasies still involve spanking in some fashion . . . the hunger in me is for someone to lead me, to not take my crap, to not let me run over them, to "make me" when I just need to be yanked back in line but want to fight about it.
So sometimes, when B says, "Watch it", I have to think for a minute and make an actual decision . . .
Am I going to concede? Or am I going to say something along the lines of "Watch what? Watch the tv? Watch the clock turn? Watch the sun rise?" or maybe something like, "You watch it." (I'm such a smart ass.)
And what he does when I respond like that is varied. Sometimes his voice just gets more firm and he repeats himself, sometimes he threatens a punishment, sometimes he just punishes. If we were physically together, I'm almost positive he would snatch me up somehow when I did that . . . but as it is he has to be creative.
I feel like I'm just rambling . . . but I guess want I wanted to say is, that I love it when he says, "Watch it." Even if sometimes I mouth back at him. I love the feel of his authority when he reins me in, when he won't let me push too far . . . Love. It.
(Yes . . . yes . . . like that . . . )
Do any of you experience this? And do you ever just want to brat back at them? Sometimes I wonder if the "dancing along the line" thing will go away if I become a "better" submissive . . . I kinda hope not, because most of the time it's
a little fun.