So, I know . . . because I read Bonnie's advice . . . that when you're first starting a blog it's a good idea to do a post every other day or so for awhile to make sure people don't think you're one of the those blogs that started and fizzled.
I know it's been a few days . . . but please don't write me off, I'm still here!!!
I had some internet difficulties and then B and I had something we needed to work through and that took all of my time and attention last night. I was tempted to blog last night before he got home from work, to start just spilling thoughts out, but I realized that I want to be more careful than that with my thoughts. I can have any thoughts I want, and B has said that I am free to share good and bad thoughts here, but I don't want to be careless and I want to make sure he and I have worked through things before I start turning to anyone else. Babygirl said in a comment that she thinks it's good for me to look to Him first to set things right, and I agree. So last night, I held my peace until he and I could talk.
I'm not gonna give details, because it's one of those things that feels intimate in a different way than punishments or fantasies and honestly isn't all that interesting . . . there's no juicy details or anything. It was just a really difficult conversation about the importance of trust and only telling the truth. That's important always, but at the beginning of a long distance relationship, it's pretty crucial. We had a pitfall, we talked it through, and I do believe we are better than ever. Y'all are getting my thoughts at the very beginning of this journey. B and I haven't even met in person yet, although I think he's coming next weekend (feel free to pressure him in the comments and share your opinions on how very very VERY important it is for him to work it out to come), but anyway . . . I think some of the "trust" angst will go away with time as we grow closer.
Our conversation after the difficult one last night was really good. I think the fact that we made it out of the other side of that first conversation and decided we both still wanted to be "us" and make a go of this thing was very freeing. We talked about hopes and fantasies . . . what makes us tick and why (although I think my "why" is often just incoherent rambling). I may post some more about that later, but for now I just wanted to wave and say hello. I'm thankful you're still reading and I'll talk to you again in the next day or so.
Until then,
His devoted one
P.S. Real life isn't always juicy . . . I'll try to do a more "exciting" post next.
I'm so happy that you two worked it out and I hope you get to meet this weekend...that would be awesome!
ReplyDeletehugs
bg
Thanks bg . . . it's pretty nice to have someone rooting for us. B and I both appreciate it. He's still coming this weekend as far as I know and I am beating back my doubts and fears that he will call me and tell me he can't come. Trust is hard, long distance makes it harder . . . but if it's meant to be it'll be.
Deletehugs!!
Bekah
Hi! I just came across your blog, and I really like it! The name you picked, His Devoted One, is so sweet!
ReplyDeleteAnyway, I look forward to reading more. :)
Hey Kenzie,
DeleteI'm glad you found me!! I've started reading your blog too and I really like it!!
I'm glad you like the name . . . it actually came from B. When we first started chatting online he would always greet me with "My devoted one" and I would respond, "my Sir" . . . but I'm about to do a blog post on us. . . so i should stop giving it all away.
Anyway, I'm glad you're here and I hope you stick around.
Bekah
Write you off? Never! I think I have the opposite problem - I only get around to reading every so often anyway. I think it's okay if you don't get around to posting super frequently. We'll still be here when you do.
ReplyDeleteAnd I totally agree - real life isn't always juicy. There are times I want to blog and think "Wow I have nothing super interesting to say..." but that's how this dynamic goes. No matter how intense it is, there seem to be lulls as well. Or at least, that's been my experience :)
Thanks for the understanding !! His visit this weekend should give me ammo for awhile . . . hopefully. Glad you're still reading . . . I've been enjoying your blog as well.
DeleteBekah
I see 7 posts for June. It's only halfway through. That seems like a fine number to me. :)
ReplyDeleteAdmittedly when I started I was burning through the posts like crazy but I really wanted some content to show I wasn't as new as I looked....
Anyway, the content will come, don't worry too much about it. I'll cross my fingers that you get to meet.
Thanks . . . we're still on for this weekend as far as I know . . . I'm soooo excited. And in more ways than I have been able to explain coherently, I *need* him to come. There have been to many pitfalls and roadblocks for us to have this cancelled. We need a real step forward for me to set aside all these doubts and fears and I think us meeting in person will do that.
DeleteKeep your fingers crossed for us!!
Bekah
hi bekah! i just found you. i'll go back and start at the beginning. :)
ReplyDeletehappy weekend!
m.
maryanne!!
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you're here!! I'll find my way to your blog and check you out too.
Hoping to get to know you better!!
Bekah