(Bekah's life goals: #1, Never make my Sir look like this . . . )
He decided to . . . ummmm . . . (blushing hard) . . . punish the offending part of me. I didn't think talking about punishments would be this hard, but I'm kind of ashamed of myself so it's a little embarrassing to re-live it. Okay, maybe if I just type it quick. He had me get ice and hold it to my . . . well, to . . . down there okay . . . while he timed it and it was COLD.
And I didn't argue with him but I may have whimpered and fussed a
After that I had to stand in the corner for 20 minutes and was tasked with thinking about why we do punishments in the first place. I suppose that now would be a good time to say that I hate the corner . . . so much. I know, and can admit when I am not facing corner time, that the corner is good for me. It makes me think . . . it makes me **feel** submissive and small . . . it puts me firmly in my place . . . and I almost always come out in a better frame of mind than I went in. But, in the moment, when he says, "You're going to spend 20 minutes in the corner . . ." all of that rational thinking flies out the window and the only thought in my head is, "20 minutes!?!?!? That's forever!!! I haaaate the corner!!!" I tried a couple of times to talk my way out of it, got a little whiny and gave him a couple of "Sir please's" but he wasn't having it and I spent my 20 minutes in the corner. (I won't tell them how you forgot me in the corner, Sir . . . we'll keep that between us. ;-) )
(I had on a tank top and panties . . . but this one looked the most like how I was standing)
- Punishment is supposed to make it "not worth it" to disobey him. It's supposed to discourage any behavior he doesn't want me to do.
- It's also supposed to re-establish our roles. It's me accepting and remembering that I've given him the right to exert his will over mine. In disobeying, or breaking a rule, I've exerted my will over his so when he exerts his will over mine in a punishment, in something clearly unpleasant, it corrects the imbalance I've created and re-establishes order in our relationship.
- The third thing I came up with is that it gives us a way to quickly achieve a peaceful resolution to wrongdoing. I tend to beat myself up over things, so when he punishes me and then it's over and we move forward, it gives me permission to let go because I've "paid" for it. It also gives him something to do with any angry/hurt/frustrated feelings he has over being disobeyed because he can make me"pay" for it and then we can move on.
I think that pretty much sums it up . . . We had a pretty intense conversation today that I will probably blog about in the next day or two, but I wanted to get this one up first so that my posts would be in order.
I seriously love getting advice or thoughts or encouragement or even constructive criticism. He is as invested in this blog as I am (although I'm really hoping he'll start one . . . more on that later) and we are both appreciating the comments we're getting and would love more.
Until next time,
His devoted one