Sooooo . . . for those of you who are following along, B wasn't able to come visit this past weekend . . . but
HE'LL BE HERE THURSDAY!!!
(I think she's super cute . . . and that face pretty much expresses how I'm feeling)
I spent the past few days refusing to write this post because I was so afraid that he would cancel and then I would have to come back on here and retract. Fear and doubts . . . lots of fears and doubts. Then we talked last night and he said a couple things . . . .
First, last night he asked me a question:
"How many times am I going to have to tell you that I'm serious about this, that I'm committed, that I want this to work? How many time until you believe me?" (That may not be an exact quote, but it captures the meaning.)
So last night and today I thought back and remembered how many times he has told me exactly these things. All the many many times he has reassured me.
Then he gave me some direction:
"Put your fears away, put. them. away., and cheer up, I'm coming."
If I'm being honest, which I'm really trying to be on this blog, there is still a little part of me that is probably going to be afraid he won't come until he gets here . . . or at least until he's on his way. **BUT** I'm trying to put that little part of me away, or at least shove her in a closet and lock the door and just be happy and trust that he means what he says and he won't let me down and that he is as committed to us as I am.
And seriously . . . I'm soooo excited.
Now that I've made the decision to trust that he'll really be here on Thursday, I've started making plans. The double-edged sword is this . . . he is driving a long way to get here, so i don't want us driving any more than absolutely necessary while he's here. However, I live in a tee-tiny town and there isn't really anything to do here, but there's a beautiful waterfall we could hike to about 45 minutes or so away, which would give us something to do where we could just be together, and it's free (which is always nice) and we both love waterfalls. So maybe we'll do that.
(Not this exact waterfall . . . I can't show you the real one because it would give away
where I live . . . but the real one is at least this beautiful . . . in my humble opinion)
I went round and round on something when we were planning for him to come last time before it had to be cancelled. The whole meeting friends and family thing. Normally, you wouldn't do introductions on a "first date", but in this situation we've been talking for three months and it could be a couple months before he's up here again, so he's going to meet a handful of people who are important to me. He says it's good and he wants to meet them . . . but I'm a little nervous. Not that they won't like him . . . they love me and he's making me very happy, so I'm confident they'll like him. Just nervous in general.
And sooooooo excited . . . did I mention how **EXCITED** I am????
So yes . . . I'm a bundle of mish-mash *feelings* right now . . . poor B probably has no idea what to do with me.
So if any of you ladies out there have advice for me that would be awesome, and if any of you men have any offers of sympathy for B that would be awesome too . . . teehehehehe. (Really just anything you'd like to share with either of us would be great . . . of course . . . I'm not trying to tell anyone what to do . . . :). )
Welp . . . I gotta run now . . . I got myself in some trouble (not that you asked, but I messed up and then didn't tell him for a day, he was pretty unhappy and I felt awful and pretty ashamed of myself . . . one of those, 'i definitely knew better and just screwed up anyway' things . . . not fun) so I owe B some corner time and it needs to be done before we talk tonight. I'll be glad it's over, I hate being in trouble and I'm desperate for us to be "settled up".
Until next time,
His devoted one